Thursday, September 19, 2013

Ninja Feelings : Anger

A while back I shared my opinion on feelings that just sneak up on you, seemingly out of nowhere. I call them Ninja Feelings and I generally think they are evil.
Anger is one of them. I've found that it is quite crafty. See, it doesn't only present in it's original and most common form. You know, the normal angry. Oh, no. Nothing, is normal anymore. Feelings included.
Ninja Anger comes in many different shapes and sizes. So many varieties.
For me, the most intrusive version of anger is resentment.
Resentment that quietly creeps into the corners of my relationships. And whispers lies to me about what his intentions were. Or what she really thinks. Or what they really meant.
Another common version is bitterness.
Bitterness is a tricky one. Because a part of me, and sometimes a big part, feels entitled to that bitterness. It's justified. My baby is dead. And I get to be bitter about that if I want or need to.
But, no matter how valid that bitterness may be, at the end of the day, it only hurts me.
Bitterness rusts the edges of my soul. And that is not okay.
I could keep going on about the many facets of the Ninja Anger.
Fear, anxiety, isolation, etc.

But I will leave it at this: Be on the look out for this particular Ninja Feeling. It's a sneaky, manipulative little bastard. And it will eat you alive.