Hi. Make yourself at home.
If you are here because of some loss of your own, I am so very sorry. And I hope that this place can help in some small way. My daughter, Jocelyn, was stillborn on June 7th 2012. You can read more about that here. She has changed every possible thing about my life. About me. She is an amazing force in my life. And I'm writing about her for many reasons.
I'm writing because I want her to have a story beyond her birth and death. I want her to have an impact on this world.
I'm writing because I need to. I need to have a place to put my thoughts. I need somewhere to channel all of the pain and anger and gratitude and fear and sadness and anxiety and maybe even some peace. I need a place.
I'm writing because I want to give back. I want others to know that they are not alone. I want provide some of the support that is so graciously given to me every day.
I'm writing because it's important. Not just our story. But the story of all of the babies lost too soon. Of all of the moms and dads that must walk this path. It's important. It matters. And the stories deserve to be heard.
And I'm writing because I want to emerge from this devastating loss. I want to rise up from the ashes of shattered hopes and dreams and innocence. I don't want my daughter to be the reason that I'm not okay. She deserves more than that.
I want to be better. Not back to "my old self". Ha. No, she's gone. Not pieces of the person I used to be, even. I am irrevocably changed, one way or another.
I want to emerge. And I want to emerge better.